Anger Translator

Materials needed: card stock, markers, colored pencils, scissors, lamination access (optional for durability), small magnets, glue gun, thin wooden dowels, thick yarn. To make a realistic “sea,” small swimming pool or something similar such as a large bin/plastic tray, water (optional), or a simple flat surface like student tables or large area of floor to scatter fish, Power and Control Wheel and Equality Wheel handouts:

Step 1.
Ask students if they’ve ever heard the expression: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” Allow responses and help them understand what it means.

Step 2.
Tell students that they will all contribute to making a game they will play as a class. Each student must draw four different fish on a different cardstock sheet. Allow them to access the internet to get ideas of different types of fish. After they’ve added the details/color to their fish, they will carefully cut them out.

Step 3.
On two of the fish, they will clearly write an abusive or controlling characteristic on the side of the fish that is not decorated (by referring to the Power and Control Wheel handout). On the other two fish, they will clearly write a healthy relationship characteristic on the undecorated side (by referring to the Equality Wheel handout).

[Note: To not have too many repeated messages, you may want to assign students a different section of each of the Wheels to get characteristics from.]

Step 4.
Collect all completed fish. [Laminate them if you decide to use the version with a pool and water. Once they’re laminated, ask students to assist in trimming off the excess plastic.]

Step 5.
Glue a small magnet to the decorated side of each cut out.

Step 6.
Make two fishing rods out of the wooden dowel, yarn, and magnet.

Step 7.
Either fill up your swimming pool with water or designate a space in the classroom to be the “sea.” Place the fish in the “sea,” with the decorated, magnet side up so that the messages are not revealed.

Step 8.
Divide the class into three or four groups and have one person from each group standing at the edge of the “sea” with their group lined up behind them. Give the first person from each group a fishing rod. At your cue, students will begin fishing. When a fish is “caught,” the student must flip it over to read the statement on the other side out loud. If a student catches an “abusive” fish (one with a characteristic from the Power and Control Wheel), they will put it to the side. If a student catches a “healthy” fish (one with a characteristic from the Equality Wheel handout), they will keep their fish and move to the back of the line. All members from each group will take turns trying to catch fish. The first group to catch ten “healthy” fish wins.

[Note: To make it more fun and to add a sense of competitive urgency, play music in the background! Some song ideas: The Surfaris’s “Wipeout,” The Little Mermaid’s “Under the Sea.”]

Step 9.
At the end of the game, have the students in the winning group look through their “healthy” fish and read the characteristics on those fish out loud to the class. Guide the class through some dialogue:

• What do we think about these characteristics? Are they important to you? Why?
• What are some concrete examples of these characteristics?(Example Characteristic: “Being willing to compromise”; Concrete Example: when a couple is disagreeing and one partner wants to talk it out while the other partner is asking for space, agreeing to take a couple of hours to cool off and then come back together to talk.)
• What are some ways we can affirm our partners when they exhibit these healthy characteristics? (Using the example above: “I really appreciated when you compromised and gave me some time to think things through, that really helped me!”)

Step 10.
Now, have students volunteer to look through their piles of “unhealthy” fish and read some of the characteristics out loud to the class. Guide the class through some dialogue:

• What do we think about these characteristics? Why are they harmful in a relationship?
• What are some concrete examples of these characteristics?(Example Characteristic: “Putting [them] down”; Concrete Example: insulting and/or making fun of a partner in front of their friends or family.)
• Why did we not throw the fish back into the sea after we caught them and saw they were “unhealthy?” (NOTE: it is important to explain to your students that, especially in early relationships, many young people do not understand how their actions can be abusive or controlling. Sometimes, they just need to be told that their actions are harmful for them to understand and change their behavior. However, if this behavior goes unchecked and continues or worsens over time, that is when someone should either seek help or break up with their partner…because there are plenty of fish in the sea!)
• What are some ways we can talk to our partners when they exhibit these unhealthy characteristics? (Using the example above: “It really hurt my feelings when you talked down to me like that in front of your friends. You may have been joking around, but it hurt and I didn’t think it was funny.”)

Step 11.
Reflect on the experience with the class through dialogue:

• What did you think of this activity?
• How was it similar to real life dating? How was it not similar?