Before Sex

Kamil explores how the pressures and expectations of other people can affect our most personal decisions. We witness the thoughts and anxieties running through her head before consenting to have sex.

For all videos:

  • What did you see in the video?
  • What do you think this video was about?
  • What stood out to you the most in this video?

For this video:

  • How important is it to allow others’ feedback/opinions to affect your relationship decisions?
  • Is there ever a time when friends/family can get in the way of what you want for yourself?
  • How can you respectfully tell friends/family to back off on their negative feedback?

Materials needed: black and white print outs of student portraits, markers, colored pencils, oil pastels

Step 1.
Instruct students to use their phones to take a picture/selfie of their face (up to the top of their shoulders, if they prefer) and have them email it to themselves or you to print. Ask students with phones to help students without one.

Step 2.
Allow students to print their pictures on a letter-size paper.

Step 3.
Tell them to think about words/statements/famous quotes/images/symbols that represent the essence of who they are. Along the inside of their face/neck/clothing, students will neatly write what they came up with. Ask students to volunteer to share a few things that they wrote about themselves.

Step 4.
Collect all portraits and post them around the room for others to see and enjoy.

Materials needed: cards with various scenarios, props for various scenarios. (Scenarios are making a banana split, washing/styling your hair, getting ready for bed, making your favorite sandwich, polishing your nails, working out/exercising, taking a shower, cooling off after a long hot day, warming up in a cold day.)

Step 1.
Separate students into groups of three.

Step 2.
Tell them that they will practice describing and expressing how, exactly, they like to get certain things done.

Step 3.
Give each person a different scenario card. Give them a few minutes to think and write down the details of how, exactly, they’d accomplish this task so that it’s preferable and more enjoyable. They must also come up with things that they DO NOT like.

Step 4.
Once each person from the group is ready, have them take turns describing their detailed scenario to their group members and have them provide step-by-step instructions while they use the props that were provided. The group members must listen attentively, without criticizing, and can only ask questions to clarify anything they need.

Step 5.
When the first person is done explaining, the other two group members must repeat what they understood to prove how well they were paying attention. The first person must tell them if they got it right or not.

Step 6.
Each person takes a turn in describing their scenario and group members in repeating the steps.

Step 7.
After everyone is done, guide the students in dialogue:

  • How did you like this activity?
  • Is there any group that would like to share what they described?
  • What did you learn from this activity?

Materials needed: For this activity, you will need to bring in a few types of snack food (candy, chips, etc.)

Step 1.
Distribute a couple different types of food to each student in the class. Before you pass the items out, tell the students to hold off on eating them!

Step 2.
Explain to students that sex is like food: you could talk about the scientific side of food and how it affects your body (nutrition) or you could talk about the pleasurable aspects of food. Both sides are important to know and understand!

Step 3.
In turn, get the students to describe each of the food items they have in front of them. They should describe the food with their five senses. Keep track of their answers on a whiteboard or a place where the class can see them. See how many words you can come up for with each food item!

Step 4.
Guide the class in a discussion:

  • Was it easy to come up with words about the pleasurable side of food?
  • Can we think of words that we would use to describe the pleasure of sex? Was that easier? Harder? If it was harder, why is that?
  • How does pleasure play into communication and relationships?
  • Why is it important to communicate about pleasure and what you need in a relationship?